Wednesday, October 27, 2010

मन का विष

मन का विष
आँखों के पानी
के साथ बहने दो;
अंदर रहा तो
आतो का अल्सर बन
सब खोखला कर देगा||

(C) shubhra, October, 25, 2010

Thursday, August 05, 2010

एक रात का वादा

उसने एक रात का वादा किया था

अब सारे दिन, इंतज़ाए करते हैं
न जाने कौन सा होगा वो दिन
जिस के अंत में शाम हाथ पकड़
रात के पास ले जाएगी

और पूरा हुगा एक रात का वादा|

(C) shubhra, August 5,2010

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

So you desire a woman?

Oh so you desire a woman?

For what if I may ask? To give you a blow job, to make you feel like a man in your own bed or in hers or in someone else’s.


What is it that you desire? Her lips, or her full voluptuous breasts, or is it the round and taut bottom.


You don’t look like you would desire her for her grey cells. You obviously think she knows nothing. No one knows more than you.


You obviously think she is the one who can let you be the master. She is the one who would succumb to you and obey you because that’s what she is suppose to do.


Hey buddy, should I but tell you one thing. There is no such thing as free sex. So don’t even dream to get into it. What you want from your woman you may get but I tell you too many complications.


Let me give you a free unsolicited advise. Go to a whore house. A whore there does all you want. Doesn’t talk, doesn’t waste time, and doesn’t complicate.


Desire - not a woman but a whore. You will get her cheap.


(c) Shubhra, 27/10/2009

Today was different…

Today was different, she had warned him but he paid no heed.


He smiled and walked towards her, “Come baby”, he cajoled her. She moved back gazing intensely at him and his moves. He probably presumed that she was teasing him.


“Come on give me a hug”, he said as he caught her hand and pulled her close. He thought she was teasing him.


“Don’t you touch me man”, she said firmly trying to wriggle out from his grip.


He came closer and pulled her to him, her warnings fell on deaf ears. She left her self loose and allowed to be pulled, only to pull herself back and lift her right leg high enough to kick him in his stomach.


He was caught off guard, he stumbled and saved himself from a fall, “Are you mad,” he shouted, “What’s wrong with you?”


Before he could finish the sentence, another strong blow hit him right between his legs. She had regained herself from the 1st blow and this time hit him straight where she wanted to.


“I had told you, don’t touch me”, she screamed.


He had by now fallen on the floor and was moaning in pain. He was more shocked than angry. He tried to move but in vain.


“You bitch”, he screamed at her, “What did I do?”


“I had told you to stay away from me. Every day is not the same; you can no longer force anything on me, your ideas, your life and yourself. Get up and go and never ever mess with me.”


He was confused, he had no clue what had hit him, as he looked at her in pain and shock the lights dimmed and the curtains fell.


The audience stood up and applauded the brilliant performances of all the actors. Sheila and Raza the main leads along with other cast came onto the stage and bowed to the audience. It was a full house. The director was pleased with the show and the response.


Everyone was talking about the play and the brilliant end to the 90 min fast paced story. Sheila, packed her stuff and was ready to leave, smiling at the people she met on her way out, acknowledging the greetings and wishes. She was there and yet had already moved far and away, beyond the boundaries into her own house and her own life.


Today was different she knew it if only he did too. She reached home, made some tea and switched on the television. Her mind was racing in various directions, back and forth, past to present, near and far. Events from her life some of consequence and some not, all flashing in her mind. She had decided something this morning and at last she was sure about her decision. The bell rang and she got up to open the door.


“What’s this attitude of yours it really pisses me man. Why could you not come with us for a drink after the play?”


tumhari dher taang ki khichadi har samay pakti hai… kya kar rahi ho tum yahan ghar pe, koi behuda sa program dekh rahi hogi…


He walked in, shutting the door behind him. He followed her into the next room, shouting.


“You spoilt the entire evening for me” he continued jerking his head as he went past her.


Achcha kuch khane ko hai ghar main?”


He asked authoritatively as he turned towards her. Seeing her ignore his question, he reached for her grabbing her by the shoulder...


“haath mat lagao mujhe, micro wave main biryani rakhi hai, garam kar ke kha lo” She replied shirking him away and walked into the living room.


“Wah kya mizaz hain! Aaj stage pe do tali kya mil gayi, tumhara dimag chad gaya hai? Aao idhar jyada bhaw mat khao” he smirked at her while reaching for the microwave.


He did not bother to ask if she had something to eat. As he sat at the dinning table he peeped into the living room to see if there was any reaction from Sheila. Sheila continued to gaze at the television while switching channels. Her phone rang and he saw her take the call. She was smiling and talking to someone. He could not hear the conversation but heard an occasional Sheila’s trade mark high pitched laugh. He left his food midway and got up to go to her.


“I am calling you there can’t you hear?” he shouted, while Sheila was still on the phone.


“Just a minute”, Sheila said on the phone and then putting her hand on the mouth piece, looked at Raza, “can’t you see I am on the phone, what it is, that you want?” she said animatedly keeping her voice low.


“Keep the phone down and come with me right away”, he shouted and grabbed her by the arm pulling her from the couch.


The phone fell and she cried in pain at his grip. She pushed him away and regaining balance grabbed the phone, “Mr. Sharma, thank you for the wishes, I’ll call you in a while if that is fine with you”, she quickly murmured and disconnected the phone. By this time Raza was up and had cornered her. She freed herself by wriggling out through the space between the couch and the pot in the corner. Raza was shouting and abusing her. He tried to reach for her as she rushed to the other room. He finally got hold of her wrist and tried to pull her towards him.


Next thing he knew he was on the ground, clueless of what hit him. He was in pain and it was getting dark in front of him. The sounds of the television were fast fading and all he could hear was her voice, “I told you today was different”


© Shubhra August 2, 2010

Friday, July 30, 2010

कम्बख़्त नींद

उजड़े हुए नैन
ढूँढ रहे हैं उस सपने को
जिसने अगले रोज़ नींद में
आने का वादा किया था|

कम्बख़्त नींद ही नही आई
तो सपना कहाँ से आए?

(C) shubhra, July 30, 2010

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

खुली आँख का सपना...

खुली आँख से जो सपना देखूं
तो शायद तुझको पा लूँ,
बंद आँखों के सपनो पर मेरा बस कहाँ|

(C) shubhra, July 28, 2010

Sunday, May 02, 2010

लफ्ज़

लफ्ज़ अपनी मंज़िल ढूढ़ लेते हैं,
ज़ज़्बात नज़मों तक पहुँचते हैं,
कुछ पन्नो पर उतरेते हैं,
कुछ सिर्फ़ दिल मैं ही जीते हैं,
ख़ुशी और ग़म से ही जुड़े रहते हैं|

अब वक़्त है अल्फाज़ों के जुदा होने का,
खुद से, तुम से, मुझसे से,
हमारी मोहब्बत से,
अब वक़्त है आज़ाद होने का|

मसले भी है, और ज़रूरत भी;
एक आवाज़ की, एक सोच की|
एक उमीद भी है,
कि मेरे लफ़्ज़ों को कहीं और पनाह मिले
और तुम्हे कहीं और|

(C) shubhra, February 19, 2010


Thursday, February 25, 2010

It was a Friday Afternoon…

It was a Friday Afternoon…

I was restless through the day today. I got a message from you this morning that you want to meet and are coming over. It was on a Friday afternoon about a month or so ago when we had last met.

The door bell rang at the precise time you had indicated. You came in and sat on the blue velvet couch lying in the corner near the window. You switched on the Television set and surfed the channels mindlessly barely stopping for 10 seconds on each channel. I got you water and went back to make some coffee. The air in the room was heavy. It was difficult to stand there near you. Keeping down the coffee beside you, I softly asked what it was that had brought you here. You fiddled with your coffee mug, brushed your hand through your hair, rubbed your nose and then looked at me uncomfortably.

Bolo, What do you want to say?” I said shaking inside.

Rock hard exterior but my insides were churning. I had no idea what you would say, but I knew you were about to alter my world.

“I am getting married”.

“What”?

“Yes”!

“To whom? I mean who is the girl”?

“I had met her 4 months back”.

“Last 4 years you have not been able to decide whether you can marry me or not and in 4 months, you know you have to marry her”. I said my face flushing with anger.

You had no answers.

“Tell me is she better than me? How is she better, in brains, in beauty, in bed? Tell me?

You had no answers.

I was shaking with anger and you got up and held me tight. I wanted to rip apart but couldn’t free myself from your grip. My world was crashing down like the twin towers and here I was in the arms of my bomber. You freed me, picked up your keys and quietly left the house.

Minutes later, the door bell rang and I pulled myself to open the door. It was the courier guy. There was an envelop for me. I looked at the address and tried to open it in haste as if I knew what would be inside. As I read the contents printed on the crisp white sheet of paper I sank into the couch.

The ways of the world are strange...you had just left, walked out on me; and now u seemed to be walking in again through another door.

© Shubhra

27/10/09

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Perfect Morning

The cool breeze from the window made me curl up. I was aware that it was about time when the alarm would go off. I was already ready to put it on the snooze for just 5 more minutes. Today I didn’t want to get up. I wanted those 5 minutes of extra sleep. The faint breeze, the morning fragrance and 5 minutes of extra sleep; I didn’t want anything more. Lying there I knew that you would open the door for the maids, switch on the water pump and get the tea ready.

I felt you near the bed. You ruffled my hair and sneaked your hand inside the quilt to stroke my back. Your cold hands touched my neck and made me shiver and I turned the other way taking your hand along with me. I felt your hand slipping inside my shirt and stroking my bare back and moving to wherever the fingers guided it. Occasionally touching my breasts and moving away after teasing them. I felt your warm breath on my ear. I could hear the pattern of your breathing too. Your smell filled my space and I found you so very close to me. I moved to make way for you to snuggle beside me. Instead you tickled me and when I kicked, jumped aside. I opened my eyes to find you there, smiling. The tea and paper was on the side table. It was a perfect morning. I wanted to sleep again. I knew you would take care of everything. I smiled and stretched and hugged you. Were you for real…?

The alarm rang. I opened my eyes- 6’ O’Clock. I turned and looked the other side- a plain bed and an unruffled side. The pillow was neatly in its place. The quilt still folded. It was a perfect un-slept bed. I reach out and found no one. I recalled, last year- oh yes last year same day, you had walked out of the home, to be on your own, or so you said.

I know you are not alone and I know where you are. As I lay in the bed, the visuals of the year gone by roll in front of my eyes. Feelings like a carnivorous creeper, threaten to grip me. Tell me, while I dream with my open eyes, are you making tea for her at this moment.

© shubhra 27/10/09