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A Journey of 17 Years...

From a moment at Videocon towers, jhandewalan  To Triveni Kala Sangam,  Via Vasant Kunj, Vasant Vihar, Chattarpur,  Taking many metro rides and stations  And climbing ladders and scaffoldings  And going through tunnels,  Via Chennai and Coimbatore,  Digging heels, getting dirty, falling off,  Getting duped, rejected, and then selected. Finally an award and then two,  Many failures some eureka moments  And many hours of mindful strokes.  Alone in mountains and by the sea,  In wee hours and at nights,  On computer, canvas and other surfaces Some shows and some installations Few mentors, some guides and many friends... And a family standing strong... Celebrating my 2nd birth today 23.04.09 The journey of 17 years...   Next year I'll be an adult... (c) shubhra  23.04.09 p.s. Forever grateful to the adversities of life...
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मुझे सीता नहीं बनना...

मै नारीवादी हूँ, आजसे नही वर्षों से तब जब मै इस शब्द का मतलब भी नही जानती थी और शायद इसके बीज तो बचपन में ही बो दिए गये थे... गर्मी में छत पर  दादी और बाबा के साथ सोते हुए या सर्दी में रात को आग तापते हुए  उनसे कहानी सुनते हुए... शायद तब जब पहली बार सुना  की राम ने सीता की अग्नि परीक्षा ली या फिर तब जब गर्भवती होते हुए भी उन्हे घर से निकाल दिया  राम ने?!  जिनको दादी भगवान कह कर बुला रही थी...  कुछ वर्ष बाद बड़ी बहन की शादी में  पंडित फेरों के बाद वचन याद करा रहे थे... तो मैंने दादी से पूंचा, जब राम ने ही अपने वचन नही निभाए  तो और लोग कैसे निभाएँगे... डाँट कर चुप करा दिया गया था... महाभारत की कहानी सुनी  और फिर टीवी पर देखी  तो फिर से जागे वही सवाल... युधिष्ठिर एक पति होते हुए  अपनी पत्नी को ही जुए मैं हार गये? द्रौपदी को कुंती ने पाँचो भाइयों में बाँट दिया? अर्जुन कैसे बाँट सकता है अपनी पत्नी को...? कृष्ण कैसे राधा के साथ रास कर के  रुक्मणी के साथ शादी कर सकते हैं? ...

अप्रैल का महीना

अप्रैल का महीना थोड़ा नर्म थोड़ा गर्म सन्तरा भी मिलता है और आम भी गोभी भी और भिंडी भी गरम पानी से नहाते है और कार में ऐसी चलाते हैं नए साल के प्लान बनाते हैं  बीते साल के बही खाते टटोलते हैं  अप्रैल का महीना थोड़ा नर्म थोड़ा गर्म ऐसे ही एक साल  काफी गरम था  अप्रैल का महीना  अस्तित्व पिघला  पहचान पिघली  आमदनी पिघली  लावा ही लावा था सब तरफ  महीने बीते जलते जलते...  फिर इस लावे में कुछ रंग मिलाए  कुछ हिम्मत जुटाई  कुछ इरादे किए  कुछ मदद मांगी  काफी तपस्या की  काफी कुछ त्यागा  इस अप्रैल के महीने से शुरुआत हुई एक नए सफर की  मालूम नहीं था तब क्या अंजाम होगा  सही गलत, अच्छा बुरा कौन जाने  बस रंगों के साथ उधेडः-बुन में लग गए  कभी जद्दोजहद, मायूसी, नाकामयाबी  कभी पुरूस्कार, तारीफ और छोटी छोटी खुशियां  कई पड़ाव पार किये...  आज इस अप्रैल के महीने में  आज ही के दिन  पंद्रह साल पूरे हुए  उस पिघलती दोपहर के  जब ज्वालामुखी फटा था  और लावा बहा था  वहाँ आज एक न...

You chose to be an artist...

More rejection Little acceptance More failures Few successes Years of endless hours alone Only some in the public eye...  Countless fiascos Few eureka moments Lots of black and grey Few Reds and yellows Many not-nows Few red dots with wows Many will say, awesome  You are an artist Few will understand,  why...  More times with no funds  Few with surplus More times of being in red Few in blue Many years of waiting Before the fame, if ever No retirement, no pension Ideas constantly brewing You chose to be an artist Unparallel joy To forget the pain Marks left  To go on after one has gone Issues immortalised Moments frozen  Emotions etched  Anger splashed Walls adorned Metro stations beautified  Homes brightened  Souls replenished Awards won Works validated  Articles written People inspired You chose to be an artist  A life never easy  Like a trek up the hill Incredible view; deep valley Two sides of the same coin A mixed bag ...

Rebel Tree

You were the 1st thing I noticed  When the car climbed up to clifton Standing tall  Branches twisted and entangled  Like the present day human relations All near you green and straight You were dancing to your own tune... I named you the rebel tree. You became my muse... I captured you  With the first rays of the morning sun  Mellow and yellow And with the last rays You a silhouette With the rising moon And the dramatic clouds I captured you just like that... You were the one where the barbets Perched and howled, much to Dudo's anguish You were the one where the birds rested before they flew off to the next and the next tree You were the one the langoors escaped to When Kishan and Sanju chased them You were also the one where the flying squirrel Took a pit stop before landing on the English oak You saw a lot, most of which I am not even aware But you saw me fall in love with you and the Ash tree and the English Oak...

If I were to be something else

If I were to be something else  tree I would be Devdar or a mighty oak Standing tall on the mountain slopes My roots be spread far and deep Entwined with the others near me Holding tight to the soil,  Rocks and water As would be my branches  Shooting up to the sky...  Bare and naked in autumn and winter Shedding all that I have   Carpet of brown leaves beneath On which I walk carefully In another world  Where I don this human form In the other months The branches lush green with foliage  Allowing the sun to sprinkle itself  From between to reach the ground As I sit under, In my human form, I capture the magic of light and shade...   Nothing lasts forever and fade we must Mightiest of trees also go...  So when time comes let me fall silently On a dark monsoon night Fall such that the path is not blocked That me in my human form can still walk past on The  hike to the jungles And occasionally rest on me for a while  As ...

Unloading…

I visit a mango orchard in Uttar Pradesh--my birth state.  Almost all, but a few trees had been harvested. They stood still, exhausted but happy after a bumper crop. The few which still bore the almost ripe chausa mango appear like a woman in full term. The fragrance of the leaves, the scent of the ripeness still on trees reach me with the light breeze caressing my being, all of it intoxicating. I am transported to my childhood home in Kanpur. We lived in a huge 3-storey house built by my grandfather. He had a green thumb and an immense love for fruiting trees. One because he loved fruits and two because he loved to light a fire each night during winter months, in our cozy fireplace and needed firewood. Our house had a mini    orchard. There were 5 mango trees, 4 lemon trees of different varieties, 1 pomegranate, 1  sweet lime, a chandan tree and a neem tree. A bougainvillea shrub, 2 gulmohar trees, 2 ashoka trees, chameli, kamini , lilies, roses, and bel...